Helping Your Child With Low Self-Esteem: A Guide for Canadian Parents

All children face challenges as they grow, but for those struggling with low self-esteem, even small setbacks can feel overwhelming. As a parent or caregiver, your role in helping your child develop healthy self-esteem is vital. Providing steady support, positive reinforcement, and practical tools can make all the difference in rebuilding their sense of self-worth.

In this guide, we’ll explore what self-esteem is, how to recognise when it’s low, and what you can do to help your child grow into a more confident and capable version of themselves.

Why Self-Esteem Matters

Psychologically, self-esteem refers to “the feeling of self-appreciation” – essentially, how we value and perceive ourselves. For children, developing a healthy sense of self-worth is crucial. It forms the foundation of emotional well-being, resilience, and the confidence to try, fail, and try again. When children believe in themselves, they are more likely to take on new challenges, bounce back from mistakes, and form strong, positive relationships.

Low self-esteem, on the other hand, can lead to anxiety, withdrawal, or harsh self-criticism. It may affect academic performance, social skills, and mental health over the long term. Recognising the signs early can make a world of difference.

Signs of Low Self-Esteem in Children

Low self-esteem can look different depending on your child’s age. Here are some common signs to watch for:

In younger children (ages 4–7):

• Reluctance to try new things or participate in activities
• Frequent crying or emotional outbursts
• Saying things like “I’m no good” or “I can’t do it”
• Clinginess or a need for constant reassurance
• Avoiding eye contact or appearing overly shy

In older children and teens (ages 8+):

• Withdrawing from friends or family
• Harsh self-criticism or negative self-talk
• Difficulty coping with mistakes or failure
• Over-sensitivity to criticism or rejection
• Risk-taking behaviour or changes in eating and sleeping patterns

Regardless of age, children with low self-esteem may avoid social settings or doubt their abilities. Early intervention offers the chance to build them up before these patterns become more deeply rooted.

Helping Your Child With Low Self-Esteem

If you’ve noticed signs of low self-esteem, here are practical and gentle ways to support your child:

• Show love and warmth: Express your affection consistently. Remind them that they are loved and valued, no matter what. 
• Speak kindly: Replace harsh criticism with constructive feedback that focuses on behaviour rather than personal flaws. 
• Praise effort, not perfection: Recognise hard work and persistence, not just outcomes – and keep your praise sincere. 
• Talk about feelings: Create a safe space for them to open up, and listen with empathy and without judgement. 
• Highlight strengths: Help them recognise their abilities and create opportunities for success. 
• Challenge negative self-talk: Gently reframe self-critical thoughts and encourage kinder inner dialogue. 
• Normalise mistakes: Teach that getting things wrong is a natural part of learning and growing. 
• Avoid comparisons: Emphasise individual growth over competition or comparison with others. 
• Encourage acceptance of praise: Help them practise receiving compliments graciously. 
• Focus on the present: Support them in learning from the past while keeping their focus on what they can do now. 
• Try affirmations: Daily affirmations can slowly reshape how children view themselves. 
• Support self-expression: Encourage your child to share their thoughts, opinions, and preferences. 
• Teach new skills: Mastering something new can significantly boost confidence and independence. 
• Support their goals: Help them set achievable goals and celebrate their progress. 
• Have fun together: Shared laughter and joy strengthen relationships and lift mood. 
• Promote movement: Physical activity is a powerful tool for improving mood and confidence. 
• Seek professional help if needed: If concerns persist, consult your GP or a licensed mental health professional. 

For additional support, you can download our Self-Esteem Worksheet for Elementary Students and Self-Esteem Worksheet for Teens – both designed to encourage reflection and boost confidence in age-appropriate ways.

Tips for Raising Confident Children

Confidence allows children to trust in their abilities and handle life’s ups and downs. Here are a few simple strategies to nurture it:

• Model calm confidence: Let your child see you tackle challenges with a positive outlook – even if you’re feeling unsure. 
• Let them try – and fail: Resisting the urge to rescue them every time something goes wrong builds resilience. 
• Encourage new experiences: Help them explore unfamiliar activities to build belief in their adaptability. 
• Support their passions: Whether it’s music, science, or sports, nurturing interests fosters purpose and inner strength. 
• Break goals into steps: Small, realistic milestones give children the satisfaction of steady progress. 
• Include them at home: Age-appropriate responsibilities build a sense of belonging and capability. 
• Talk about imperfection: Remind them that nobody is perfect – and that’s perfectly okay. 
• Create small wins: Balance challenges with moments of guaranteed success to maintain motivation. 

Final Thoughts on Helping Your Child With Low Self-Esteem

Helping your child with low self-esteem doesn’t require grand solutions – just consistent care, encouragement, and the belief that they are enough, exactly as they are. By showing up and supporting their growth, you’re giving your child one of life’s most powerful gifts: the confidence to be themselves.

If you’re looking to build your child’s academic confidence, BrightSparkz offers experienced tutors ready to support your child’s unique learning journey.

An adapted version of this article has been published on our sister site.